Saturday, June 11, 2016

Eu sou as pessoas que me cercam e a cidade que pulsa.
Sem minhas raízes sou tronco seco caído a terra. Vazio. Nada.

A quella più cara di tutto al mondo:
Questo adesso è tuo, potrai conoscermi attraverso le mie parole.
E tu, scopri quale sono le tue radici, e non tagliarle via mai. loro sono la tua forza e sostegno per affrontare tutto che la vita potrà presentarti.
Conosci te stessa, trova il cibo della tua anima, perché una volta che ti allontani di questo la strada di ritorno è lunga e dura, non tutti c'e la fanno a percorrerla. Non aspettare che sia troppo tardi per dare importanza alle cose più care a te, non lasciare che sia troppo tardi.

Ti amo, e ti amerò sempre ovunque io sia, pastel.

Alla mia ranocchia, lascio il mio cuore.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Sometimes it doesn't work.
Sometimes you are drowning on air and nobody even cares.
Sometimes all you feel you can do is to let go.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

.:not a parcel:.

"Our child is not a parcel. If you love her, grind your teeth and your ego and stay here."

I am tired of all this act, you are lucky you had time with her (when you are juggling lessons on distant places, lesson preparation, translation work and on line assistance for sts with no computer or internet at home, your daughter ' s school responsibilities, her dance and doctor 's appointments, parents teachers meetings.)

When you work crazy hours and can barely see your child, and when you can, you don't get a chance to do it because your in laws will virtually disappear with her, returning when they like, telling your daughter they are helping, leaving her bags in the garden when you insist that if they are not taking her home you will come and Pick her up , so that you don't need to enter their house.

Leaving her washed and dressed, with her dinner  (and his ) ready so she can sleep early and be ok for school the day after, just to find out the food is getting thown away, and they stayed with the grandparents until late hours. So you find yourself battling an overtired 4 - year - old to get her to school early not to miss the bus that will be the only one in the next hour and a half. And you fail. and it is YOUR fault, because, how hard is it to get a child to school on time? !?

And you worry, because she needs atention, she needs time playing with her parents, she needs routine to learn that play and responsibility work well together, both of them have a place in life. And you share your worries, and hope it gets through to him. But then, she is at home sick, and so are you. The morning you had to go to the library and deal with your mail box, including checking if there were any extra documents needed for your paying, is busted. You stay home, care for her, prepare your lessons, call students, try to and more hours to the day so that all appointments fit... They don't. You will always be in a hurry, and late no matter what. But you need the groups, which can only overlap, your daughter needs your time, which you don't have.

Her father ' s time would do. Sure. But then you have your monthly work meeting on a saturday out of town, and think it is lucky your daughter will have alone time with her father. only to find out he has Gone fishing and left her with the grandparents. Right. not a parcel. And when you only have the saturday to try and go to the library, otherwise you will have to wait next Thursday, he proudly announces he is spending the day out with friends. Sick daughter at home, my work on waiting list. Leave her with the grandparents, the ones that feed her chocolate so that she eats sth, the ones that take her to play outside when it is cold and windy so that you can worry about her having earache at night.

"Our daughter is not a parcel."

Right you are. And I am tired.

Friday, May 06, 2016


Quando alguém está acostumado com alunos que viram amigos, amigos que viram família, primos que são como irmãos, qual a lógica de ficar afastado disso tudo?

O que resta que valha a pena comemorar?

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

.:a bit of self love :.

Uma publicação muito curtinha, para lembrar de confiar em mim mesmo quando não acredito ser mais possível. Todos precisam resgatar suas origens, lembrar dos seus ideais quando o momento pede que os mesmos sejam contrariados, ao menos para saber que eles existem, estão ali, vão sempre estar, mas que você precisa seguir em frente e para tanto os mesmos devem esperar pacientemente até serem resgatados.

Tenho alguns modos de resgatar minha essência: luz - sentir o sol; música - poder cantar e dançar com letras que carregam minhas verdades; ler - principalmente volumes que ajudaram a moldar quem eu sou, no que acredito.

Esta manhã fui buscar um desses volumes, para aceitar melhor minha postura bélica como necessária e temporária. Ao abri-lo encontrei um envelope, para mim, escrito com a minha caligrafia. Abri. Dentro um bilhete :
"Você vai esquecer de ter guardado isso aqui, mas vai ser útil mais adiante. Use bem, compre queijo e Divirta-se. "

Espertamente, o meu eu passado guardou vales do meu trabalho pré -carnaval. Ou seja, como achar 50 reais no bolso de uma calça sem esperar, mas com um pouco de amor próprio.

Reconfortante saber que posso confiar em mim mesmo no meu pior. :)

Monday, March 28, 2016

.:the one about comfort zone:.

It is funny how shock can help move sb into action. Sometimes you observe a person you love, just doing his/her thing. They see the problem, smell it miles away. You warn them about it. They admit to it being sth fishy but prefer to live in denial. It is like they keep repeating to themselves time and time again: the problem does exist, but fighting it is hard, it tales work, it takes time, it takes owing responsibility to mistakes I've made. It is not even that bad all the time. Maybe it will solve itself.

As expected, you observe the problem growing, that person living in denial, losing the ability of solving the problem by themselves as it gets more complex each passing moment. You talk to them plainly : do you see what is happening? Do you know how to solve it? Just take the first step, it is the hardest. After that, you ' ll make a habit of it. It may take some time, but there is no easy way out of it. By the end everything will be worth time and effort. Do you see what needs to be done?

They tell you they see it. And tell you just things the way they are. And... do nothing. Theory after theory when the chance to move /do sth is passing them by. You watch them blabbering their way past the opportunity to act, to start making it work. So you get rabious, and disappointed, and ashamed.

Yes, ashamed. Because that is the exact moment you notice you could as well be looking at a mirror, and the same exact posture reflects you. No, things won't get easier without your part to make it work. No, people won't do anything but try to open your eyes, because it is not their fight. It was meant to you, so face it. That is when, sissy or not, you gotta grip the situation using all your might, so that you won't be that person in the limbo.

Moving is hard, sometimes painful,  but being stuck in the comfort zone will produce nothing. More certain than not, you will end up like frogs in the slowly boiling water : it is getting warm, maybe it is good, maybe it is not, but I will stay here a little longer, it feels kind of nice. But then it progresses to a little uneasiness, but still you think: it is not that bad, I can take it. Until the water is so hot you feel drowsy, you lack strenght, and drained of life you sit there boiling slowly while thinking you knew better than that.

Luckily, some frogs get a drop of cold water in the pan, so they can leap back to life vowing never to be that stupid again.

Thursday, March 17, 2016


Home is where the Heart is.
But, what can possibly happen when there is no heart left?