Wednesday, May 14, 2014

.:3... 2... 1... launch:.

The sweet little lady has officially been invited to take part in the summer camp! yay! 
meaning we have a month to get rid of the nappy... uh oh! I foresee lots of moping in a close future...

apart from this big leap there are some things I'd like to get settled before she goes back to school, such as eating habits... when in brazil she would eat what I gave her and be happy about it... 
lentils? check!
tomatoes? check!
beans? check!
lettuce? check!
peas? check!
carrots? check!
cucumber? check!
spinach? check!

in Italy? not so much... she eats only meat and pasta... hey, don't get me wrong, I could live off meat only easily just get the pork and lamb on the grill... the problem is, she needs other stuff as well, and the lady has become THE MOST picking eater... I've been trying everything but to force feed stuff down her throat (yeah, the thought has crossed my mind, but she is way too cute and persuasive for me to do that)... the list goes with helping with the preparation (both of us love that part!), choosing fruit and vegetables in the street market, beautifying her dish, keeping left overs to offer her again and again (I gave up on that one when she was served chickpeas, carrot and fish for breakfast from the day-before lunch... it made me literally nauseous so I thought maybe we could do without that technique... ) anyway, I'm stubborn... more than her, much more years practicing... ^^ she will cave!


another thing to be worked on before nursery school is her timing... just like her mother the girl takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r no matter what she is doing and she can just do one thing at a time (uhum... totally aware, sil... children see, children do... I'm working on that too... ok, that was a lie, but SHE is... ;)


I gotta give my thumbs up for her organizational skills, experimenting and management, though... see the picture above? ok, couple of things to notice:
1. she is most efficient with her right hand, but she's taken to using her left one whenever she can without making to big a mess out of it... (just love this pretty little lady9
2. notice how she paints with only ONE hand keeping the other one clean to do other things? (yeah, I'm beaming while I type this ^^)
3. the round blue lines were done with the help of a brush... yay fine motor skills!!! (now for the bragging mamma in me: mastering circles at the age of one? shut up! she will be a da vinci!)


we got to work on colour mixing this morning and as a treat she could choose her favourite colours at the stationers this afternoon to paint some... the first colour she picked was pink... the girl is clearly obsessed! what happened to all my encouragement to like blue? and orange? and green?


this was my attempt to show her that getting her hand dirty she could make a print with it... as you can see clearly, it didn't work... I kept smudging her hand in paint and she kept cleaning it with a tissue... she's got some issues with things dirty, but guess she will get over it pretty fast at nursery school... they will be working with peter pan... getting to know one character a week for a month... I'm really curious to see who will be left out... my best guess would be peter, wendy, tinky, and hook... but let's see, I'll let you know...

Monday, May 12, 2014

.:recharging:.

ok... so the thing is, if I have to pay hell for spring anyway I may as well enjoy the trip, right?

when you need to recharge and the smell of the sea and the touch of the sand under your feet are miles away, the next best thing is a recently mowed lawn... so I'll take it, damn the allergies...


hard part over (so I'm done trying to fix it and analysing) what is left to do is suck in my breath and accept it, make it do... the decision is made, so I'd better own it up and get satisfied... that is what I'll try to do...


summer is knocking at the door... every night crickets sing me to sleep, and we got to enjoy the first freshly picked cherries of the year...


so, hopefully, things are looking up...




Sunday, May 11, 2014

.:chattery miss chatterson:.

some entries from the pea at mothers day:
bedtime story... she believes she can read, I choose not to differ...

take 1
(*at the florist's with papa picking up flowers, oh, yeah, camilla in tow)
Papa - Non uscire. resta qui dentro (don't go out. you stay inside.)
Her - va bene, ho capito. (ok, I got it)

(*sometime later lowering Camilla to smell the flowers)
Her - senti, camilla. senti che profumo! (can you smell it, camilla. what a perfume!)



take 2
(*early morning, trying to wake me up... yeah, shameful... not a morning person, nice to meet you!)
her - mamma, sei sveglia?
me - (some grunting)
her - mamma, sai? ti amo... sei la mia amica del cuore.
me - (*melting) buon giorno, scimietta! sei il migliore regalo che c'è!







Friday, May 09, 2014

.:a birth story:.

Ok, so I'm a mother... even better, I'm a "mamma"... It's been a long journey, guess it is always so... And I usually avoid talking about how it all began... Why? Because it was scary, maybe the scariest thing ever in life... And in case you are wondering, I used to live in Rio, so yes, I've been threatened at gunpoint, I've been trapped inside a bus in the middle of a shooting, and the wonders of Italy have taught me what feels like when an earthquake shows itself... So, I guess scary means something, right?

I can say I was pretty lucky all through the pregnancy, no problems with blood pressure, no sickness in the morning, no excessive leg swelling, all in all I got to enjoy it and have fun... Labour didn't scare me, but the idea of coming short of what I needed to become to be a good mum had me panicking... There was the nagging question: am I up to the task?

I had 9 months to prepare but they didn't seem enough... When the time came I was eager, happy as a child on christmas eve... I just couldn't wait to see her pretty face and meet the little bugger who trained boxing with my organs... Contractions started early in the morning, about 3 or so... I kept track of them, and enjoyed the moment, just me before meeting her, no use having the hubby all jumpy when things usually take a while to kick in...

When he woke up I told him to prepare the coffee while I treated myself to a hot shower (for all my girlfriends who are thinking about having babies, hot showers/bath are a great way to know if it is a false alarm... If it is not time yet contractions subdue and pass, if it is the time they will itensify... Might be useful)... We talked over breakfast, my due date was already almost a week behind... When the topic came up I was suave enough to say: "hey, you might want to load the bag in the car, you know?" "Why?" "Because I entered into labour last night. *twink, twink..."  Yeah, the pain was not that huge, nothing women don't experience like every month... So it wasn't enough to kill my good humour...

It had started snowing sometime at night, the first snow of the winter... (In case you don't remember I hate snow! Streets are slippery and dangerous... So we set off to the hospital... When in the car I called only one person, the one that mattered to me at the moment... I talked some, just enough for her to know what was going on... We arrived at the hospital and stopped to get some pizza before checkng in, and wonder of wonders I discovered I couldn't eat it for the life of me... So we decided to check in...

I got all the sensors set up and was told to relax and wait, there was time... Congratctions kept progressing, and we kept waitng... Until sth was not right... Instead of getting closer together they started getting further apart... The heart rates were all over the place, worst of all, her rates, not mine... That is when hubby called the nurse, she entered the room took a look at the monitor and shot out of the room... Seconds later she was back with two others... Then another one was beeped to come to the room...

Yeah, about there I really started panicking... They were testing the sensor and couldn't find a heartbeat... The next step would be to break the waters, I asked if it was necessary and why they wanted to do it (yep, I had wanted a birth as natural as it could go for my baby, thank you very much)... They said it was the easiest way to find out if the baby was suffering, they had lost her heartbeat... (Cue the water works)

From that moment on I was in complete hysterics... Yep, I wouldn't stop crying and trembling all over... I was in the surgery less than 2 minutes later, hubby watching me being wheeled by with a face as white as mine I guess... While they were giving me the peri the only thing I could think about was "what are they waiting for? Cut, open, get her out of there!!!" I'm pretty certain I lost about 10 years of my life on those wrecked 5 minutes, because that's how long it took for them to cut and get her out... I didn't get to see her... They were already stappling the cut and she was nowhere to be seen...

I had no idea what was happening, until a good soul answered my desperate pleas of how the baby was doing, and explained the whole of the affair... She was being dressed(it was minus 4) outside and the surgery was already over... That is when I saw her... A few seconds only, she was in the arms of the same nurse who decided to calm me down... I couldn't hold, not even touch her, I felt broken... I was wheeled back to the room without her... Hubby was waiting, he had been watching her through the window in the nursery, I wanted to go to her, damned c-section, couln't feel my legs, least of all walk to her...

It wasn't until two hours later, when our friend made it to the hospital that she handed me my daughter, and everything was new... That roller coaster of emotions had taught me what all the pregnancy hadn't... that I would go to any lengths to protect this new being from harm... that is the truth of it...

and in the end, to be a good mother I didn't need to be perfect, I just needed to be enough... patient enough to show her that sometimes things are not what you expected them to be nor when you expected them but you act graciously anyway... brave enough to overcome my own fears in order to allow her to choose her own weaknesses... persistent enough to stick to the values I believe in and want her to know and live by... lighthearted enough to marvel at the opportunity to see the world anew, reborn through her eyes... and eventually, be strong enough to let her go...



because when I became a mother I cast off a huge part of me to never get back, but I did it to get something else... something bigger and more powerful...


I got the chance to experience life from the beginning, learn about it by nurturing it...


I got presented with a piece of me to be taken care of, to be loved and taught...


still, I got a piece of me to give away, and set free... and understanding that is what motherhood is all about...







Wednesday, May 07, 2014

.:pick me up:.


our camera has an issue with the lens/focus/whatever-it-is-that-I-don't-get... so I've been using it on manual, but let me tell you, a myope trying to get the focus right when not wearing glasses is something laughable on its best... so, please excuse the photos...

yesterday we tried something new here at home: preparing tiramisù (which literally translates as 'pick me up')... promising, right? and to make things better we decided to involve all the three of us... yep... and again, if you tried preparing something for the first time together with your significant other and a small one around congratulations, you've mastered negotiation and patience degrees... we may have some dessert or wine to celebrate the achievement, your pick! ^^

on other news, today is the 10th anniversary of the last episode of friends... and what better way to honour the tv show than watching it while ironing? I know, high level, right? and if you consider the amount of clothing involved maybe I will be lucky enough to get to watch all of the ten seasons... yay for me!
I blame my ocd side... the tiramisù helped me get the journey going on... change of seasonal clothing+displacing the wardrobe to treat the mold behind it originated a hot mess of clothing items here... and just because I couldn't simply put them all back inside the wardrobe, they are all now on the ironing waiting list... 

at least I have happy breaks with the pea... yesterday she managed to put on her pyjamas all by herself (ok, to be fair, the pants were inside out, but I let her be and made a big fuss of congratulating how grown-up she'd been...) 

they grow up so fast... *snif, snif...
 

Friday, May 02, 2014

.:on ice cream and pastries:.

do you know that wonderful feeling of control you get when the sink is empty, the groceries are in their right place and your hamper is not overflowing with dirty clothes? having a grip on your house makes you feel like you have some kind of control over life itself... at least it works this way for me...just not this week...

really tired... fighting mold in the bedroom in the middle of respiratory crisis... how to? repainting... which brings us to disassembling the wardrobe with stray items of clothing hanging around on every free surface in the house... a two-year-old stuck inside because of constant spring showers with lightning... and faulty internet connection...

a dreamy picture, isn't it? the image of chaos ensue here... as I said, so tired...

but some things work in a way, don't they? like having pastries for breakfast and ice cream for dinner (even if you are not a fan)...


watching your daughter on tiptoes trying to climb the table and get the last biscuit in the jar...

Having a cup of tea and coloured pencils to try and brighten a grey morning...

modelling animals with play dough helped by little hands...

or sorting out the photos to go in your family album...

yeah... I'm going to focus on that...